Day Three

Busy busy day which is good on a day 3, where your body is still at the tail end of adjusting but you also realize you still have 7 more days to go. That said, as they say, it does get a LOT easier. Even now I am not experiencing any PMS symptoms whatsoever, like, at all due to this cleanse. No fatigue, grumpiness, cravings for starch, bloat, suicidal tendencies. Just kidding although the winters out here combined with PMS is a recipe for figuring out as soon as possible, how I can apply"The Four Hour workweek" to my life so that just like the author, I can go live off the coast of some warm and sunny island (and just read all day). (http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/about/)

So rather than talk about all the ins and outs of a “day 3” since that is like talking about a Tuesday, I think I’ll just for my own benefit, distract myself my meditating via the typed word, what all I took in from my weekly women's study group.

The primary topic of discussion was on faith, and our dire need for it. We were reminded last night that no matter what circumstances we undergo, having faith is utmost importance when it comes to authenitc Christian living.  Perhaps as a result of this fast my senses were heightened, or maybe because I had a rough night last week, but this topic really came to life for me in a way it ordinarily wouldn't.  Growing up as a Catholic where there wasn't a whole lot of emphasis placed on reading the bible (or "God's word" as they assertively call it in this non-denominational with a tinge of Pentacostal church I've been going to), I saw a lot of faith around me in the people, but for some reason last night the concept of it being a requirement hit me harder than ever. I think just like my drinks, I need my Christianity strong to do the job. My green juices extra green too for that matter...

Anyway, we jumped to Hebrews 11:16, and there it just spells out that it is impossible to please God when we don’t have faith. So [for me] this was an eye opener. I have displeased God countless times when all along I thought I was doing a pretty good balancing act of trusting Him while also doing things my way. It's not to say that I think we just sit there and not do anything but here is an example: right now I want an iphone and normally I'd just go out and buy one without surrendering to John's view and/or paying off bills first. So when I do things my own way because it suits me, I'm not having much faith in God and that is my downfall. I suppose it's everyones', but that is what He is revealing to me more and more lately. I'm sure everyone else can see this is my downfall but what works for everyone else doesn't impact me. Dave Ramsey? I read his book and I wanted to go take out a loan for some things because I was so jazzed I hadn't wracked up debt nearly as bad as the rest of the human examples I had read about! I also feel like I'd rather take out a loan and travel now while I'm relatively young than do it later when I have accumulated wealth but am too old to really enjoy it as much. So I need something more potent to live this out, for too many more reasons. Anyway-

What I am guilty of is that I am not consistent in always having my faith "on". In the first 5 minutes it may be strong enough to withstand whatever is coming my way but then within the next 5 minutes (depending on just how much I was being tested) I just felt like a doormat in not ‘giving it back’ to a person, or I rationalize that this is a chance to possibly turn a bad communication to a redeemed one and therefore redeemed friendship. Not the case!  Last week this occurred with a friend I’ve known since I was seven to twelve-ish and let’s just say there was a really sad falling out. I realize this post would be a lot ‘juicier’ if I got into it but what went down, but anyway, back to my piecemeal of a story if I can even call it that, the situation definitely demanded from me a level of deeper faith than I was ready for. I am now in retrospect, grateful for the heart break since I think that is the usual currency for growth.  Anyway, Emily (that pastor’s wife who is my age and is like a walking breathing Galadriel in the world of “church” + she has 5 kids on me and still manages to do more than anyone) spoke to my situation.

She mentioned, and I agree, that many think that Christians perceive ourselves "holier than thou"and this certainly applied to my situation last week. So I (texted) the whole spiel about Church being a hospital for sinners not so much a chance for people to talk on high!  But it was so frustrating being in this position when it would have been a LOT easier to just obey the God I believe in and *trust* that He'd take care of it, rather than defend my fleshly responses. I instead was in the trap where I had to explain that we realize how broken we are and that we need saving”.  But the problem is, I realized at the time I was talking to someone who reminds me a lot of how I used to think about myself- "that I have a pure heart and therefore I don't think I am a sinner who needs a savior."  I guess I scratched the surface but think it hopefully brings to life where and how Christians go wrong and it reminded me that it is FAR more difficult cleaning up a mess that I made with my fleshly tendencies [as a self proclaimed Christian] than it is to obey.  If I obey our almighty and loving God, I am free. 

It was a reminder to me also that when we’re not having faith 100% of the time, we’re judged. We are hated that much more than if we didn’t have this standard and deemed as hypocrites. To my not-so-humble defense, we’re all just human and some of us are naturally at different places on our faith walk so to speak and I suppose I slipped. I now have a mountain of regret and I mention all of this not because it's fun but hopefully so I can chart my own growth with a further hope that this isn't so darn boring and non-life applicable. My point is this: I have no basis for judging her since that is God's place and I need to trust more. I need to trust more because it makes my life easier and walk the talk. 

So rewinding a bit with regards to the argument, it also brought up for me this universal condition to think it's other people who are ungodly because we each have our own thoughts and opinions as to what that is; it's never us, it's always the other person. That I experienced first hand last week where I chose to give into my flesh in an argument rather than have faith in God while I witnessed her falling into a similar trap in judging me and that makes sense from her vantage point.  Romans 18 clarifies who the ungodly are. They are those that know the truth but instead, choose to suppress it, because it either doesn't seem to comply with our situation or because it's convenient for us not to.

Ironically, and I struggle with this so much--is we think if I do it my way and do my own thing, we’ll be safe.  Anyway, what I got most out of last night is that God is saying otherwise: not only are our lives not our own but we will only be safe when we do it God's way.  Once we acknowledge that our lives aren't our own and we obey because God merely tells us too in His Word, our faith builds.  When we do things our own way and make ourselves into mini-Gods, our faith life will just stay the same. That was so convicting for me because my faith is growing at a slower pace than some of my other peers. It’s not because I don’t intellectually “believe” like they do—it’s likely because I am lazy when it comes to reading the bible and quite honestly, I’d much prefer to live life where I don’t have to follow any standard. Its so much easier and free! But it’s not really and that is the point of this site and I have managed to digress again.

Here are my juices for today:

Quickie green juice (this time went a little "crazy" and mixed celery, lettuce heart and collards); and Beet, Carrot, Apple, Lemon, Ginger juice. Sorry it's not the most professional shot but I had to get to work.

My Juices for the work day

Beet Juice